Writing Hours

I once went to buy fried yam and plantain from the akara woman near my house in Abagana and some customer before me had complained that the fried yam was dry so before I left, she quickly sliced up an onion and half a chilli into a bowl then added a ladleful of oil from her akara wok into the oil. It boiled on impact and she stirred it then spooned it over my yam and plantain. It tasted great. Decades later, I still have n’t forgotten that gesture. These were my thoughts as I stood in my early morning Christmas kitchen, peeling potatoes and carrots for Christmas lunch,  Why am I doing this alone?  I almost asked but the quiet hum of the refrigerator stopped me. It had stayed up all night quietly preserving the Yule log desert while my son walked in and soon, the washer tossed and turned his load of laundry, reminding me that the dryer was only silent because it was broken. I mix up butter with garlic and thyme for the turkey and melt it in the microwave oven then pour myself...

A MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A BEAUTIFUL NEW YEAR TO OUR FRIENDS, FAMILY AND FOLLOWERS, Chinelo I.

A friend is struggling with her critical Analysis class at Uni and I am trying to help her but we don't seem to be getting anywhere even though I've had my own run-ins with Strauss, Barthes, Lacan and Foucault myself. "Was it a collage ?" I ask her, I don't know? "Was it a mishmash of different art forms?" I don't know. I didn't understand it. sometimes the artist in you understands but the critic is too loud or you go there full of expectations that leave no space for seeing new exhibits. "Did you take any pictures?" We weren't allowed. she replied. we once took children to an exhibition at a museum at one of my old places of work and there was art of spoons hanging from the ceiling. A skeptic would've uttered, huh, spoons! and walked away but the quieter artist turns their back while the artist inside whispers, You wouldn't have noticed how large and useful that space is until someone cordoned it off with spoons. N...

Thirteen things to do for the twenty-five days of Christmas. Day 13. Fast. Matt 6; 16-18, Romans 5 ; 8-10 Day 14. Love your neighbour as yourself. Luke 10 ;27, Matt 7; 1-29, Matt 22;39-40. Day 15. Hold a night vigil; watch and pray. Psalm 119 ; 15-16,Psalm 119; 105. proverbs 3;5-7. Day 16.Make a promise to God and keep it for God is faithful. Numbers 23 ;19. Day 17. Bless the Lord; Be grateful for your blessings. Psalm 134, Romans 6 ;17-20. Day 18. Work for the good of your soul and mankind. Proverbs 12 ; 11-12, Psalm 90;17, Deut 24; 15. Day 19. Enhance your faith with prayer and a fast. 6am -12pm. Matt 17;21. Day20.  Rejoice in The Lord. Phil 4;4,Psalm 86;4,Deut 12;7.  Day 21. Be a brother, a sister and a friend. Matt 18 ;5, Matt 7;5. Day 22. What would you do today? comment below. Matt7; 1-5 Luke 10 ; 23-24.  Day 23. Be honest, avoiding hypocrisy. Gal 6;1 Day 24. Be grateful and stay blessed. Psalm 133;1, psalm 150,  Day 25. Pray, give ...

12 things to do on the first twelve days of Christmas. On the first day of Christmas... Day1) Seriously repent of your sins and give your life  to the Lordship of Jesus Christ the Lord and saviour. Pray ; Oh Lord, Have mercy on me and forgive me my sins. Thank you for rescuing me from my wrongdoing. Please come into my life and stay. Be the Lord of my life and the apple of my eye. John 3;3, Matt 7; 20-29, Luke 10; 23-24. day2)Make the connection and stay rooted. Begin reading the whole Bible to find out who God is and what He wants you to do. Be dedicated and consistent with it. Listen out for His instructions. John 3;2,  15;1-11, Hebrews 12; 6-11,Matt7,Micah 6;8, Deut 8;6,  Proverbs 9;10. Exodus 20 ; 1-17. Luke 11;28.The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. Find the verse in the Bible and share below. day3)Pray. Don't forget to pray. Say prayers developed on your friendship  with God every day and night. listen for His answer. Don't forget to listen ...

As I sat in a shop this past Black Friday, an excited little boy was running around, telling complete strangers, "My mum is here to buy a tablet and an ipad!" He said it over and over again to anyone who cared to listen. Just as that excitement was coming to an end, another little boy pulled his parents, who looked like they would rather walk past, into the shop forcefully. There were low prices and quiet and calm which brought to mind the same shop at Christmas Eve. It looks like some parents are learning to help Santa out on time so we won't be treated to that Evening spectacle at which parents fight and shove each other for Teletubbies  and toy trucks. The atmosphere was relaxed and calm which is why we would like the last minute people to get up and start their Christmas shop on time this year. Start early and buy what you can afford. Thank us later.

hear him out. https://medium.com/the-mission/what-we-should-have-learned-in-school-but-never-did-88450ce83963

Now, I don't normally shake tables, I buy them from Ikea and build them but when it comes to overly wokeness and band wagonism, I will shake it till the chickens come home. Bikonu, here is a picture of a palm fruit head and a palm tree from where palm oil comes. The pictures are from Wikipedia and I can attest that they do indeed look like this.  The tree grows up tall and narrow and doesn't produce that much canopy cover or foliage per tree so when it's on someone's farm, coupled with the fact that it is a very useful tree, they leave it there and cultivate around it.  Plantations also last for generations because specialists climb the tree and harvest the fruit for generations, leaving it standing there because it's just like a fruit tree. You harvest the fruit and leave the tree there so it can grow more fruit next time.  So please, can you stop hating on things you don't understand! like palm oil for instance, the natural remedy to the ulcer ridden gut o...

Cherry Dew. The human heart, Strong –   Beating still, The gentle caress of new born skin. A whispering birth, The short, chilly dawn, Loving the new day Her young ones adorn. From edges of movement, the light displays- Creation of morning to brand new day. A mother cow nudges young one soft -   Legs asplay Hatchlings chirping on barnyard hay. A treasure of beginnings, Our senses explore Early dew drops in Spring, Weather we adore. Confetti dewed to tiny wet boots, The beauty of still  before -  apprehending silence shreds Soft world draped, drifting caresses end Rested breath with silent rhythm Life's Prism.

Cooking Lessons. You walk into the kitchen in the evening and your young man is cooking pasta. The next thing he does is take a jar of Jalfrezi curry from the cupboard. So you tell him, Dude, look at me. I'm cooking okra, now how would you like it if you asked me where's the rice dough or garri  and I reply, No worries, we're eating it with spaghetti.  How would that make you feel? That would be weird, he replies.  "Well, that's what you're doing right now, Curry can go with rice or potatoes but not pasta. You made fusilli, so what should you be making now? He nods. He retrieves meat, tomatoes, onions and oil to make the sauce. As we're about to leave the kitchen much later, his sibling walks in, She gets some freshly cooked pasta sauce in a bowl then walks out with it and a packet of cream crackers. We both stare at her,  speechless.  The cooking lesson still went well, He's the best pasta chef in our house today and because of him people go...

Remembrance Sunday 2011. This Sunday, the world is celebrating One hundred years after World war one. A war which was started as tensions brewed in Europe as a result of countries acquiring weapons and strengthening their Military thereby making their neighbours assume that they were getting ready for war with the ensuing alliances and Nationalism that followed. Some  investigators also blame Germany. 11/11/2018 fell on a Sunday this year so it is Remembrance Sunday today.   Meanwhile it has been reported that on Christmas day 1914, German troops and opposing Common Wealth troops got out of their trenches for a friendly game of Football despite being hungry and cold. Other than that, it was devastating, brutal and bloody and its relevance today meant that at the eleventh hour today, 11/11/2018, there were moments of silence, the blowing of trumpets and the laying of wreaths to commemorate the soldiers who lost their lives.  Can you imagine playing football with ...

A Stitch in Time. “I’m up the duff!” “WHAT DID YOU SAY?!!” “Eugh, I’m not marrying you” “Me neither! No way” “You smell like old socks! “You laugh like a pig!” “I’ve never liked you!” “Hello! De ja vue!!” “Can’t stand the sight of - ” “You thought that I care?!” “You bunk off classes...” “You and your dopey glasses!”   “How would you know? You don’t know what passed!” “I know nobody likes you They said you’re a slag!” “I’m killing this baby Cos you’re not worth my time!” “I’m calling my friends now Cos I know my rights!” “We shouldn’t have done that!” “We already did! But if I stood by you then...” “But - really, you would?” “Well, I’ve always liked you...” “Your hair cut looks nice,” “I’ve always known you...” “How much was the price?” “Your laugh and smile showed me ...” “Have you had lunch? We’ll go eat together.” “Cravings overwhelm me need something to munch.” “Well, tim...

The Bleeding Statue A humid day, The right disguise. A trail of tears migrate down My stone -y brow. For you dream still With smoky eyes And I stare at you, Preferring your side, Covered in moss- Rolling or not A thought made of stone. A great surprise cos' you’re alive. It’s not fair on me, You’re beautifully made Your chiselled, warm cheeks Dominate my dreams I stand so close As you stare at the space Above my crown, your perfect face! And chiselled cheeks - pointed feet Your smoky eyes Isn’t that wry? Gargoyle heart, why? Why dark smoky eyes? Do they mask the fire? The oven beside Clay pots of desire What a surprise! The shape of our fate The fate of our world We dare not tempt fortune Or Fate would rise For Earth spins still And time doesn’t ride But in our dreams, will With the past Come hurtling in To show our mistakes, In broad daylight Whe...

Computer games  I write this as I watch Pixels. It probably means games will be requested this Christmas.  I can’t disobey a teenager on what movie to see on a Wednesday evening.  A while ago when I was still learning to drive, my driving instructor was grousing about marrying a wife from a different nationality whose family thought she was too good for him. “Ouch, that’s gotta be hard work especially if she thinks that too.” I responded and it seemed that for the first time, he was happy to be out of that tunnel and divorced and for the first time, a happy instructor who made me drive on the highway.  Yo people, what’s the deal with making me drive at 30 and telling me to drive slow! Drive slow! Slow down! Then taking me somewhere where I cannot drive under 60km/hr. Are you trying to traumatise me? Well you succeeded! So the next time I did a lesson with a different instructor, I complained about computer games. Frankly, I didn’t see the point....

The unpaid barber. When I was little, I had this thing that settled onto my bodacious Afro and decided that it was going to move in and create three crop circles. I remember having it for up to a year because the lotions provided by conventional medicine seemed not to work back then. It was excruciatingly itchy and created more than one patch of white scalp where hair was supposed to be. It was an inconvenience for outings, festivals and places you wished to look pretty at. Some people called it ringworm but the literal translation of the local name for it was The unpaid barber. The unworthy barber. It deserved that name. It’s handiwork was awful. One evening as I was sitting down, a woman comes to visit. She takes one look at my unpaid barber   or ringworm head and yells at my grandmother,  “How could you leave her hair like this?”she said, yelling at a grown grandmother as if she was a kid. And that’s one cool thing about Africa, everyone has a mum and a dad or...

Connectives. No, it’s not quite the food, you’re not nearly right. See, I let go of my pride then I’m half this size! But you’ll laugh at my pain, my cries and my fright, So frankly, I’d rather keep it bottled up inside. Am I right? Can   we not agree on that? Bye... 

SPACE Whenever you feel caged or trapped, Unable to break free from that shack, Concentrate on cloudy skies and deep blue seas, Quaint vegetation, Tall Forest trees, Co-ordinates in deep space, Stars that twinkle from a far place. Those never-ending surfaces free And honestly make you see How small you really be You have all the space you need And I know that you'll agree!

Tales from the homestead 🏡 - Pets. Sometimes parents hide bad news from their children  thinking they might not be ready for it, sometimes with reckless abandon,  forgetting that children grow up. I can only say, If they give you a chance to tell the truth and apologise a couple of years later, take it. “Really, the pet fish didn’t hold hands and fly out the window together while we were asleep?” But that’s what you told us!” “I know they had really big fins but goldfish can fly?” I had to come clean because they gave me a couple of years before they asked. They were older and only one of them came back to verify which meant that they were probably a little ready for the truth. Also the guinea pig just died too and It had no wings and I had to explain. Who could have known that at four years old, they were considered ancient! I think I was traumatised too because I don’t remember saying that when Angelo the goldfish passed the morning after we got him a new fri...

Tales from the muse 👁 - life.  Life is also figuring out what is yours and what is not,   what is good for you and what is not.

"When I was young, my coach said something that has stuck with me for five years ; It's hard to beat the person who never gives up." -Dylan Baker Almost professional swimmer.

"Along the journey, I never walked alone. I have been assisted and supported by many people, who shaped my life through the experiences I shared with them..." Wangari Maathai. UNBOWED one woman's story.

   Language skills  Õ dighi agbanwe agbanwe x3 O tu   Įdi ka Įdi na mbu. 🎶 F ind a friend or neighbour who can sing this and ask them to teach you what it means. Hint: it’s a praise song.   Years ago when I was in primary four and learning this language, the teacher asked for a volunteer to read the passage for the lesson from the Igbo reader book. Students sat down quietly and wouldn’t do it so I volunteered. I was fairly new to the community and everyone knew that   but I still stood up and read. I knew what Ha ji nku efe efe meant. I just struggled with the intonation because in all languages, sometimes the one word can mean other things, depending on the inflection. As I sat down after reading, I could see   my fellow student's faces. They were not impressed. The teacher on the other hand overruled them all by jumping off her seat in glee and told me I read it very well for someone who wanted to try, that it was excellent. I s...

Tales from the homestead. 🏡   The bumblebee costume. When the babies were at nursery school, they went through a costume phase in which they insisted they wanted to dress up in a costume for school. It was where dressing up would be the first order of the day. We will race to the dressing up corner   at school and dress like fairies or bumblebees for the rest of the day and I thought nothing of it till they probably studied bees and insects at school or researched them then their next stage was sugar water. They walked around the house with bottles of water that they sipped on intermittently then my electric iron’s plate turned brown and started smelling like burnt syrup. It took me a while to find out that someone had added sugar to my electric iron refill water bottle. It was so hilarious, I forgot to frown but it is taking me a while to replace the iron. Young people seem to have a phase in their lives in which they wreck the house as they try to make sense of ...

Sweet company. Her second phase was to be a lawyer, A Specialist in sweet acquisition and Merger The Wrogley-Mars facilitator Dr. Pepper-Snapple grouper Cadbury-Craft-Ferrero-Hershey A pick'n'mix conglomerate maker The whole planet dancing to her sweet premolars Stuck to sugar-shaker rhythm-breakers Choccygobblefudgerican sweets In seventy different shades of beet Proven to melt dental cavities A sure fire jaw breaker treat Before her real dream rises to meet Snapple apple drops encased in nectar sauce Chewy bottles and soda droplets - Pause With sprinkler shavings and soft candy biscuit Replacing MDee's Happy meals and The colonel's Kid's meal treats Then her treat life would begin. Sweet, sweet sweet.

hAPPY nO bRA dAY

It gives me joy to see teenagers obsessing over a book I obsessed about in Secondary school and continue to obsess about today. They are trying to figure out the central themes in A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. Now, who among you knew that Tiny Tim wasn't  exactly ill, He was undernourished and so couldn't walk properly because the body's main function is to stay alive. Which means it will shut down the extra curricular activities that it deems temporarily unimportant while rerouting resources to the life and death processes.  So, besides forgiveness, change and compassion,  I have three words for you this morning. GO AND EAT.

Tales from the muse 👁 The dog died.  I once worked in a bookstore where I just couldn’t learn to operate the cash register so I watched human behaviour and used a calculator, notebook and drawer instead.   One day, we had no customers at all so when a smiling woman walks in and says cheer up woman, it’s not that bad. I rejoice but no it turned out she’s not a customer, she’s collecting money for charity but you haven’t sold anything all morning.  Days later, winter evening fiveish. Three people walk into the shop in succession and they walk to three different corners of the shop and all pick out the three saddest books in the shop. As I spot the titles and check them out, I start feeling sad then wonder if it’s an omen.  It was, The bookshop closed a few weeks later in the recession.The moral of the story is that sad stories sell sometimes and someone’s gotta write them sometimes. 😩

Our British Cousin. A Poem Being Awful at Sports But spending most my life On Badminton Courts Gawping at saplings that smirk at defeat Their heads through concrete Hard to believe feats tender and green Defying knowledge, sense and petri dish What made them so tough, How? On Earth can a little stem As weak as a leaf crack something as tough And bad as concrete Curiosity had me jumbled My insomnia continued, A schoolgirl in green Needed to know so- I dug up the stem Then gasped at what held The roots wrinkly and brown Tough, rough and deep Enough to run firmly All under concrete.

The Versatility, Beauty, Practicality and...

"Take a message to the person in charge there from Dan, tell them that its the things people do when no one is watching that matter because someone is watching." "Thank you." The stone statue replied, all of a sudden, shy and embarrassed at the same time. "What's your mantra,  darling?" "Women should not be ignorant of course. Ephesians 4;18."

Tales from the classroom 👁 5/6 - 1/4 Back when I was in my primary three class and wrestling with fractions. The teacher would whip the crap out of you for getting anything wrong in Maths or English. We had a girl who had come back from a francophone African country so she was bad at English but good at Math so she would promise she’ll help me out in Math if I helped her out in English first. I think you already know how this story went.   During English, I wouldn’t shield my answers from her and she will pass English and escape whipping while I got punished for low grades in Math because she would pretend it was very hard and she needed to concentrate and tell me “wait! Wait!” So I will wait till she passed her book. For a whole term, till God had mercy on me and I fell sick for a whole three weeks the following term in which my friends would see me in the village and tell me she gets punished every day for failing English.  I soon grew a pair and so did everyone els...